


It Hurts Like Hell To Be Torn Apart

by kissedxbyxfire



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Captain America: The First Avenger, Coping mechanism, James "Bucky" Barnes - Freeform, Letter, Loss, Love, M/M, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, steve rogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 11:38:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3326039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissedxbyxfire/pseuds/kissedxbyxfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If I could, I would marry my best guy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Hurts Like Hell To Be Torn Apart

**Author's Note:**

> look at this as Steve writing as a way to cope with the loss of Bucky

~~James Buchanan Barnes,~~  
Bucky,

We weren't anything. Except, ~~he was~~ you're everything.  
I wasn't ~~his~~ yours, ~~he~~ you certainly ~~wasn't~~ weren't mine. 

It was an almost sort of thing. 

~~Maybe~~ After, I ~~could've~~ would've sat ~~him~~ you down. I would've told ~~him~~ you how it was, how I ~~felt~~ feel about ~~him~~ you. 

I would've laid it all on the line. After all, our friendship ~~was~~ is the most valuable thing I ~~had~~ have but I'd risk it. I think ~~he~~ you would've said yes. ~~He~~ You would. 

It's the worst regret. Because even if I said it, it was still going to be after, it would've been because it could've all been gone. Like ~~he is~~ you are now.

But that's not true. It wasn't going to be a last plea. Not something people say because they're scared they won't see tomorrow anyway. Not something people do off a high of making it out alive. 

If I could, I ~~would've married~~ would marry my best guy. Not because I'd realized how I felt because war was too big to go it alone. ~~I've been alone~~ I am alone, the horrible part isn't that I don't have anyone...it's that I don't have ~~him~~ you. 

It's the worst, because I didn't even take the scared lovers timing, the last minute, I didn't take the before. I was foolish enough to think there would be time, that there would be an after, that ~~he was~~ you were too strong to die.

I'll regret every second I could've had ~~him~~ you. 

I'm sorry I didn't tell ~~him~~ you. My love ~~wasn't~~ isn't blossomed out of tragedy, it's not defined by before or after. I guess what I'm trying to say is; I loved ~~him~~ you from the start. I love ~~him~~ you.

It's not the end of the line. 

~~Signed,~~  
 ~~Steven Grant Rogers~~

I love you Bucky. 

Yours,  
Steve

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaaaaand I made myself sad -_-
> 
> I hope this was too weirdly written? 
> 
> I'd love to hear your thoughts :)
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://kissedxbyxfire.tumblr.com)


End file.
